Will Eill, University of North Carolina Asheville

Students are often faced with interrupters from outside of the classroom. The days of school as the one and only full-time job for students is no longer a feasible reality. The COVID 19 pandemic and associated lockdown/switch to remote learning furthered the concept that school obligations are optional. This includes class attendance, assignments big and small, and ongoing engagement with the learning environment. Many current college students experienced this transformation while in high school. The habits and perspectives formed during that time are now ingrained as part of the college experience.

Hijacking the “Yes, And . . .” Rule for Student Success

The Yes, And . . . rule is a staple of improvisational comedy that allows actors to grow a scene and reach outcomes. The business world uses the same principle to foster effective brainstorm sessions and problem solve (Kulhan, 2013). This is a growth mindset approach that can be utilized to empower students to succeed as they navigate academic demands and personal obstacles. Academic obligations and success must be attended to along with life events.

Using the Yes, And . . . rule, advisors have the opportunity to open student thinking to this empathetic, caring, and strength-building technique. Academic advisors are in a unique position to empower students to overcome maladaptive dynamics and develop new personal processes which lead to accomplishment within higher education and the development of lifelong skills.

• “Yes, that must have been a terrible experience for you, and your paper is still due so let’s talk about a plan.”
• “Yes, it is difficult living with new people. I am so glad you are putting this energy into making it work right with your suitemates, and it isn’t a good idea to miss class because you were up late talking with them. What can you commit to with respect to class attendance for the next week?”
• “Yes, new medications do take some time to get used to and your midterm is coming up fast. Let’s brainstorm on how to position you for success.”

Core Values Honored

Empathy and compassion are inherent in the validation that the rule allows for: the “yes.” Accountability and associated empowerment become accessible once student difficulties are validated and achievement becomes the focus: the “and . . .”

The either/or lens with respect to school responsibilities that may be already established when students face issues outside the classroom can easily be reframed using the Yes, And . . . future-focused and achievement-driven mindset. This is a collaborative method that respects student experiences and autonomy and reinforces the confidence that despite obstacles, academic success can be achieved.

Kick the “But” Out

Common language patterns often include “Yes . . . but.” This should be avoided as it is limiting language. The “but” implies that the student did or will do something wrong, make an error. Replacing “but” with “and” when accessing the Yes, And . . . rule allows for options and movement forward. “But” may have the opposite effect, erasing any empathy and/or supportive context. Removing “but” in advising, and everyday conversation, can have a dramatic impact on how communication is received with respect to authenticity and positive impact (Thibodeaux, 2020).

Big Issues

Worth noting is that there likely will be events that do warrant school taking a backseat. The death of a loved one; serious health concerns, mental and physical; and a myriad of other situations will inevitably arise. The Yes, And . . . rule applies here as well. These impactful and disruptive events create an opportunity to further communication and accountability skills. Student contact with their support network, including professors, is ripe for such situations. A quick email from the student to relevant individuals speaks to responsibility, engagement, and a mature ownership of all aspects of life.

• “Yes, of course you should be with your family right now, and how about we make sure your team is informed so they can best support you.”

Conclusion and Onward

Life is increasingly complex and will continue to be. Yes, And . . . is an empowering framework to navigate these complexities. Advisors are well positioned to work with students in establishing proactive and productive approaches for continued growth and success. The Yes, And . . . rule provides accessible language for desperately needed support and skill-building. The student/advisor relationship can be enhanced, student resilience developed, and the shift from destructive to constructive approaches to meeting obligations re-established. Yes, And . . . is an effective tool to be used on the quest for student success.

References

Kuhlan, B. (2013, February 2). Why “yes, and…” might be the most valuable phrase in business. BigThink. 

Thibodeaux, A. (2020, November 5). Stop saying “but”—Say “and” instead. Thrive Global. https://community.thriveglobal.com/stop-saying-but-say-and-instead/